Ever stared at your phone and prayed they’d text?
Yeah. Me too. And so have 78% of the women who walk into my therapy room post-breakup (not a real stat, but close). Healing after breakup isn’t just about deleting numbers and unfollowing exes. It’s about learning how to be in your body again, to breathe without their name catching in your throat.
I remember a session with a client I’ll call A. She was in her early 20s, the kind of girl who brought cupcakes to team meetings and remembered everyone’s birthdays. Her breakup hit like a Mumbai monsoon, loud, sudden, and soaking through every layer of her identity. “I don’t know who I am without him,” she whispered.
So we began with something small: movement. A short walk after work. Breathing with intention. Crying without apologising.
What Healing Actually Looks Like
Healing isn’t one neat sobfest followed by a glow-up. It’s messy. It smells like Vicks and feels like WhatsApp relapses. One day you’re doing somatic healing after heartbreak, and the next, you’re back to stalking their cousin’s engagement pics.
Here’s what it might look like:
| Stage | Real-Life Feel | Therapist Tip |
|---|---|---|
| Shock | Numbness, denial, or dramatic sobbing | Sleep, hydrate, and cry freely |
| Grief | Deep emotional pain after breakup | Journal your pain, name the losses |
| Anger | Frustration, blame, even rage | Move your body: dance, box, scream |
| Resignation | Low energy, sadness settling in | Light rituals like oiling your hair |
| Release | Occasional laughter, breathwork helps | Celebrate small joys |
Understanding Post-Breakup Behaviours
| Behavior | Healthy Sign? | What It Might Mean |
| Blocking your ex | Yes | You need emotional safety |
| Re-reading old texts | No | You’re holding onto the past |
| Venting to friends constantly | Sometimes | You need support but may feel stuck |
| Obsessive stalking on social media | No | You’re delaying emotional release |
| Picking up new hobbies | Yes | You’re rebuilding self-identity |
Closure and Healing After Breakup
I know we fantasise about that one final talk. But often, closure without contact is kinder. You don’t need their version of the story to begin your own healing after breakup. A client once held a release ritual, burning an old letter, then dancing to her solo-girl playlist. No text. No closure chat. Just freedom.
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. In fact, many Indian women are quietly searching for ways to mentally bounce back after heartbreak and emotional stress. I recently wrote about why so many of us finally turn to mental health resources when life breaks open. Here’s what that shift looks like.
Creating Safety While You Heal
Post-breakup, our emotional boundaries go wobbly. Everything feels raw. That’s when self-compassion practices matter.
If you’re deep in the thick of healing after breakup, start with:
- Whispering kind words to yourself
- Creating safe spaces (offline and online)
- Saying no, even when you feel guilty
Sometimes, healing is saying, “I miss him,” and still choosing you.
Tools That Support Healing After Breakup
Here’s what I often suggest:
- Journaling for heartbreak: Ask yourself, “What did I lose, and what did I gain?”
- Breathwork for emotional pain: Inhale 4 counts, exhale 6
- Body release rituals: Dance. Shake. Move. Let go.
- Affirmations that don’t feel fake: “This hurts, but I’m healing.”
And if you’re curious about expert-backed emotional strategies, the Mayo Clinic has a brilliant breakdown on coping mechanisms that align with what we therapists use in practice.
Healing After Breakup Isn’t Linear. It’s Yours.
A breakup doesn’t mean you’re broken. You’re just between versions of yourself.
Healing after breakup is never a straight line. Some days you’ll feel like you’re thriving, and other days you’ll wonder if you’re back to square one. Trust the zigzag.
Let yourself be. Let yourself feel. Let yourself grow.
And when you’re ready, you’ll find that healing after breakup is not a destination. It’s a homecoming.
FAQs
Q1: How long does healing after breakup take? A: It varies. There’s no fixed timeline. Honour your pace, not societal expectations.
Q2: Is it okay to still miss my ex? A: Totally. Missing someone doesn’t mean you made a mistake. It means you cared.
Q3: Can therapy help with breakup recovery? A: Yes! Therapy for breakup recovery offers safe space, tools, and perspective.
Rina Goswamy is a psychotherapist with 11 years of experience helping women from all walks of life navigate emotional challenges, relationships, and self-discovery. Known for her bubbly warmth and no-nonsense insight, Rina believes therapy doesn’t have to feel heavy — sometimes, all it takes is asking the right question at the right time. Her writing feels like a conversation with a wise friend who just gets it.
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